Practicing internal alchemy and sex
Q: For people with families, how should they handle their sex life when practicing internal alchemy? Does sex hinder cultivation? Should they abstain from sex?
A: For people with families, when practicing internal alchemy, I do not advocate completely abstaining from sex, because the marital relationship must be taken into account.
If the couple can understand each other, it would be great if they could spend some time apart (such as the 100-day foundation-building stage) to practice exclusively. Or it would also be great if the couple could practice together at the same time and cultivate together. However, unless you are born with a celestial partner, it is not common in the world. In the past, the couple Ma Danyang and Sun Yuanjing (also known as Sun Buer) were wealthy and their children had grown up. Sun Yuanjing persuaded her husband Ma Danyang to leave the secular world and cultivate spiritually. The couple invited the immortal Wang Chongyang to their home, gave up all their possessions, and separated. They cultivated together and finally both achieved the Dao. This is a legendary story and they were a rare and wonderful couple in the history of immortals. This is for those who have formally entered the room to practice. We cannot advocate that everyone learn from them.
If you are engaged in cultivating kung fu, for the average person nowadays, you can start by building a foundation. At this time, you should exercise proper restraint in terms of sexual matters, so as not to lose too much of the Three Treasures and affect the efficacy. Everyone knows that having unchecked sex is harmful to the body. If you want to completely abstain from it, it requires the willingness of both the man and the woman. If one party does not agree, it will be difficult to do so, so it is not necessary to completely abstain from it.
Moreover, people with families often have a well-worn routine in this area. Forcing them to stop having sex will only be detrimental to their cultivation. Logically speaking, having sex is an inevitable part of human nature; the union of yin and yang is also the proper course of the operation of the natural world. People who practice spiritual cultivation use the union of yin and yang within the body as the basic way to cultivate the Great Elixir. For couples, the union of yin and yang between the man and woman is the normal way to maintain human relationships. Both are in line with the way of the universe, but one must not go too far or too far short, as this is harmful to the body. If one forces oneself to restrain, it is also against the way of the universe, so it is not a practice of Taoism.
What we advocate is “having fun within limits, loving without harming”. In other words, it is more beneficial for ordinary people to have fun within limits and love without being too indulgent. Therefore, for ordinary people, it is not necessary to completely abstain from sex, nor is it possible to indulge excessively and harm one's health. It is enough to observe the middle way.

从事修炼内丹与房事
问：对于有家室的人来说，从事修炼内丹功夫，如何处理夫妻房事？房事对于修炼有妨碍吗？是否应当断绝房事？
答：对于有家室的人来说，从事修炼内丹的功夫，笔者不提倡完全断绝房事，因为必须照顾到夫妻关系。
如果夫妻二人能够相互理解，有一段时间 (比如百日筑基阶段)分开，专门修炼；或者夫妻二人同时做功，进行双修，也是一件极好的事情，但是除非生就的神仙伴侣，在世间不太多见。在昔马丹阳、孙渊贞(即孙不二)夫妇二人，富甲半州，儿女成人，孙渊贞即劝其夫马丹阳离俗修道，二人将王重阳真人接至家中，舍弃全部家产，夫妇分居，同时用功，最后双双成就大道，留下千古佳话，是神仙史上不可多得的佳偶良伴。此乃对于正式入室修炼者而言，我们不可能提倡人人都学他们。
如果从事修炼功夫，对于现在一般的人来讲，可以先从筑基入手，这时对于房事要适当节制，以免损失三宝过多，影响功效。房事无度，人人都知道伤害身体，如要彻底断绝，则要男女双方情愿方可，若有一方不同意，就难以办到，所以不一定非要完全断绝。
而且有家室之人，往往在这方面形成熟路，如果强行断绝房事，反而有害功修。依理而论，男女行房，是人道之必然；阴阳结合，也是天道运化之正轨。做清修功夫的人，以身体内部阴阳二炁的交合，作为修炼大丹的基本途径；夫妇双方，以身体男女的阴阳交合，作为人伦之道的正常维系。均有合于天地大道，只是不可失之太过不及，则于身有害，二者一理。如果强行克制，亦有违天道，故为 道家修炼所不取。
我们所提倡的是“乐而有节，爱而不伤”，即行乐而要有所节制，相爱但勿太过放纵，这样做较为利于世俗之人。所以针对普通做功之人而言，不一定非要全部断绝，亦不可过分放纵而伤身体，守乎其中可也。